Feeling way too damn good
by KnickKnackBlack
Summary: She was an addict who wanted to end her life, she refused any help given to her. He knew how to fix her but he refused to help her. One night, fate brought him to her doorstep where he saved her life. So far, mentions of suicide and suicidal thoughts and actions. Very dark start to the story. DRAMIONE Rated M
1. Prologue

**Alright so, I thought I'd try my shot at a broken Hermione. Her character in the next few chapters is LOOSELY based off of Sara from Prison Break. This fic is going to be very dark in the first few chapter so I will warn you now. Mentions of suicide, self inflicting wounds, drug abuse and alcohol abuse. This story will be rated M for those reasons. Quite possibly sex but I have yet to write those chapter and I haven't decided yet.**

**I wasn't going to post this story until I had more chapters written but I'm sitting at home bored because I have three days off of work. I don't know how fast I will post for this story. It won't be everyday like The best is yet to come. But hopefully it'll be every few days.  
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**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I just love to write about it.  
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**And as always, I'm working without a BETA so excuse the mistakes. I try to read over the chapters five times before I post them up.  
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Prologue

Hermione was nauseous and dizzy. The room was beginning to spin as she attempted to sit up but her body had other ideas. She suddenly vomited. She hated feeling this way. She wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her jacket and slowly looked around. Trying to not make the same mistake twice.

She was in a Dungeon; no windows the only light that lit up the room was a small lantern hanging just above her head. She needed to reach it, she wanted to reach it. She needed to die the pain she felt was agonizing. She wanted to end it, she needed to end it.

She gripped the wall as she tried to stand up but there was nothing to grab. Her legs were like jelly which gave way every time she tried to stand on them.

She lay back down on the cold hard ground, she started to cry. All she wanted to do was die. She turned onto her back and watched as the lantern started to flicker away. Or maybe it was her eyes closing.

She woke up to the sound of the dungeon door opening. She had no idea how long she had been asleep for since there were no windows or a clock.

Hermione counted the footsteps as they drew nearer.

Thirteen.

It took thirteen steps to get from the door to her. Which meant she was pretty far from the door. She peaked open her eyes, brown dragon hide shoes were staring her right in the face. Her gaze shifted up to the man who was now kneeling in front of her.

"You're awake."

She tried to speak but only a groan came out. She felt his hand touch her face for a split second it was freezing cold.

"You're sweating and shaking." He walked away from her.

He was right, she slowly touched her face, and the sweat was dripping down. She then watched as her hand was shaking in front of her very eyes. She hadn't noticed because she was in too much pain.

He came back and helped her to sit up. He picked up her hand and placed a cold glass of water in it. She would have dropped it if it weren't for him still holding onto it. He helped her to bring it to her lips. She immediately started slurping it up. Her tremors were not helping her at all.

He took the glass away and immediately started to dab away the beads of sweat that were running down her face with a towel.

"Open your mouth." He spoke once more. She heard a small clatter but did as she was told. He then slipped a spoon full of warmth into her mouth. She immediately recognized the taste. He was spoon feeding her oatmeal.

He thought about giving her some real food but he knew that she wasn't strong enough to chew any sort of solid food yet.

This man was helping her, he was hand feeding her and he was helping to cure her. This man cared for her.

This man was Draco Malfoy.

999999999999999999999'

She couldn't believe it, she had been locked in his dungeon for who knows how long and she was still feeling like shit. Though she could now sit up on her own without vomiting, she was still shaking a bit with some chills. She calculated the number of times he came in to feed her, to take her to the bathroom and to just check up on her. He fed her three different meals; oatmeal, sandwiches and then some pasta. Easy to eat and easy to go down. They came in that order three times in a row. She figured breakfast, lunch and dinner.

She figured out that she had been down in his dungeons for about three days now. Three days she spent out of the sunlight, three days she spent away from work and three days she spent without her friends and family. She began to cry as she remembered her friends and family. She hurt them by hurting herself.

This was for the best she assumed, though it felt like hell.

The dungeon door swung open and in walked Draco Malfoy with a tray of food.

Breakfast time.

Though this time it wasn't her usual oatmeal. It was eggs, bacon and toast. She tried to smile at the delicious smells but she couldn't get it through her head why this man was helping her.

"I thought you might like a change in the menu." He sat down in front of her and picked up a piece of bacon bringing it to her mouth.

She didn't open; instead she glared down at the cooked piece of meat.

"Come-on, I promise it's good." He urged her

"I don't need you to feed me!" She snapped at him. She grabbed the bacon from his hand and shoved it into her mouth. "I'm perfectly capable of feeding myself."

"Fine." He threw the plate down next to her. The eggs slid to the side almost off the plate.

She glared and watched him as he exited. She picked up the plate as soon as she heard the locks click from the other side of the door.

A paper plate. He didn't trust her with a glass one.

Of course he wouldn't, he wasn't stupid. He had been watching her closely. He knew that part of detoxing was the thought of suicide especially from someone who had tried to harm themselves previous to detox.

He knew she was hurting but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He watched her as she suffered hour after hour trying to cope with the pain and sickness. But this was the price she had to pay for using so much.

He waited a while before he went back in there to collect her dishes. She was calm now, she handed him the plate quietly and thanked him before balling up in the corner too cry.

Mood swings were another part of detoxing.

He wanted to fix her in the easiest way possible and that was what he was doing. Though painful for her it was the easiest way.

She put her face in her hands trying to remember what had put her in this position in the first place.

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**So, let me know what you think. I know it isn't much but it's just the prologue. I'm going to re-read the next chapter and post it in the coming days.  
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**KKB Follow me on Twitter: wwwDOTtwitterDOTcom/KnickKnackBlack  
**


	2. Chapter 1

**Here is the next chapter, We are gettng into the darker part of the story, but not thee darkest part. I hope you enjoy it.**

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Hermione was the brightest witch of her age. She had it all, she had a lovely home great friends and not to mention a great job. She was head healer in St. Mungos so she always stayed busy. Her patients loved her and she loved her job.

Everyone who knew her thought she had it all. But she knew differently. Yes she had a big house, loving friends and a great job but if she were to break down what those three things meant in her life. Then her life would be thought of as hell.

She had a big house; yes but it was empty. The furniture was still there, lavish and exquisite. But there was a darkness to the house. There was one place where no one was allowed into, no one except her and Ron. Her study.

They had spent countless hours in her study drinking up the potions that she had taken from work to ease the pain that the war had caused. Ron had lost a brother so he used that excuse to poison his body to no end. Hermione lost a lot of friends and her parents in the war.

Pain killer potion was her drug of choice. It made her feel good. No it made her feel great. With it she felt like she could then handle the world. Even the dumb people who wandered into the clinic thinking that anything and everything were wrong with them.

Friends; There was Ron who of course spent most of his time with her. She would sneak home potions just so they could get a high together and finally feel good about themselves. He was her best friend in all of this; he had her back while she had his

There was Harry, who watched over her like a protective older brother. He tried on countless occasions to get her to quit but it required too much time to watch over the two as they slowly detoxed. He was too busy, now with marrying Ginny, having a child on the way and being the head of the auror department. She didn't mind though, it meant that she could feel great for a bit longer.

A great job; yes one that she would steal from every day. One that when she was working unknowingly supplied her pain killer potions. Everyone who she worked with had no idea, she hid it well since she took just enough to get her through her shift. But she took too many once she got home. Her patients never suspected a thing since she was always loaded on some kind of pain killer potion that made her happy.

Those three things that everyone thought made her an amazing healer; friend and person had underlying definitions that not many knew about. That was what made her Hermione Granger.

She had just finished doing her rounds checking on some of her patients. Clinic duty was next and she needed something to take the edge off before she had to deal with patients who thought every small twitch was something serious.

She slipped into the closet full of fully stocked potions and downed a small blue vial. She licked her lips as she immediately started to feel the effects take place. Oh how she loved magical drugs. They took effect faster than any muggle medicine would.

She slipped back out of the closet and casually headed down towards the clinic where a nurse waited for her with a stack of folders.

"Gentleman in room three is here for a yearly check-up."

"Thank you Lydia." Hermione smiled as she headed towards room three with the folder.

She pushed open the door and quickly shutting it behind her without looking at the man.

"Granger?"

She suddenly turned to look at the man in the room who had said her last name.

_Draco Bloody Malfoy_

"It's Dr. Granger." She corrected him

"You can't be serious." He groaned

"Oh but I am." She took her seat on her rolling chair. She pulled herself towards him.

She was feeling a bit lightheaded now but that was good. That was the effect she wanted, because if she wasn't lightheaded she would have a mean headache and wouldn't be able to deal with the insufferable git before her.

"Alright, Malfoy, take off your shirt."

"That's Mr. Malfoy to you." He fired back

She rolled her eyes and waited for him but he didn't move a muscle.

"Are you going to do it or not?" she asked impatiently.

He remained silent; there was only one way that he was going to do it.

"Mr. Malfoy, can you please remove your shirt?" She muttered

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear that." He smirked

"Mr. Malfoy," She said a bit louder. "please take off your shirt."

He smirked and with a swift movement he pulled it off and tossed it onto the countertop.

"Like what you see?" He asked her. She was staring at him.

He was being an ass on purpose. It was fucking Granger. He wanted to have his fun while it lasted. He watched as she tore her eyes off of him and pretended to read his file.

"I'm going to do a spine check on you now." She stood up from her chair and walked over to him. "Please lean forward, Mr. Malfoy."

He did as she said but he watched her intently. She had this look in her eyes that she wasn't all there. He chalked it up as maybe she didn't get much sleep. She ran her finger down his spine and then back up it sending chills through his body.

"Careful there, doc. You might get me all hot and bothered." He winked playfully.

She rolled her eyes and continued to examine him.

He still kept a close eye on her, when she walked just three feet to the counter to write something down she stumbled a little. Like her feet couldn't catch up with the rest of her body.

His eyes caught hers once more and this time she didn't look away. What he saw was something he hadn't expected to see. He saw pain, pain that he couldn't quite put his finger on until she tripped over her chair. He then knew instantly that she was on some kind of drug.

Though it had to be prescription, she was a healer for merlin's sake.

He watched as she gathered herself trying not to let her catch him staring but he just couldn't help himself.

"What?" She snapped at him smoothing out her coat.

"Nothing." He muttered looking away

"We're done here." She gathered up her files and headed out leaving him to ponder through his thoughts.

He had seen it once before, his mother. She was an addict. Though with alcohol. He had wished he'd done more to save her. But he figured she would fix herself much like she had always done. But this time she didn't. She would drink and drink and drink until their liquor cabinet was empty. She sent whoever was home to the store to buy some more for her.

He had even fed her addiction himself. She forced him to go down to the store for her. And he did it, not really thinking about the consequences.

It had been almost a year now since her death and he missed her dearly. She had begun drinking when his father died in the Great War. She couldn't live without Lucius, even if he was an old bitter man. He loved him and it pained her to be away from him.

He grabbed his shirt and pulled it over his head. He would have to reschedule, obviously he frightened her away with the way he was watching her. He knew that next time he would have to write down a different healer one that wasn't her. He needed to stay away from her. This wasn't what he wanted to be around.

'

She made her way quickly out of the room and to the nurse's station. She had pawned him off on another healer before heading to her next patient. The rest of her clinic duty went by fine; she had to escape halfway through and go back to grab herself another potion. But now she was off and she had just left the storage room for the fifth time today with a bag full of vials.

She rushed past the reception area and quickly said her goodbyes to the ladies and went home. She found Ron laying on the front steps of her house waiting for her.

"Bloody hell." He groaned

She slipped a vial out of her purse and handed it to him "Come-on let's get inside."

She locked the door once they were inside and she hadn't bothered to turn on any of the lights as they made their way to her office near the back of the house.

She spread out the vials between them and laid down on the floor.

"I saw Malfoy today."

"What the hell did he want?" He growled

"Yearly check-up. Though I passed him off to another healer."

"Good, did you tell him to piss off?"

"No, but I think he knows something."

"Knows what?" Ron asked

"I have this strange feeling that he knew I wasn't all together today." She popped open another vial. She allowed him to have the first swig and then downed the rest.

"Oh come on Mione, he doesn't know shit. How could he? You hide it so well."

She sighed and thought for a minute "Yeah, I guess you're right."

He scooted himself closer to her and wrapped an arm around her waist. They were friends and nothing more. They had tried the whole dating thing but it ended up being just two people into the same things that loved to hang around one another. She saw him as a brother and he saw her as a sister.

He saw that she was tired and he started to run his fingers through her hair.

"Go to sleep." He whispered. "Forget about Malfoy. He means nothing."

She nodded her head and slowly drifted off.

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**See I promised you Ron wasn't a psycho in this one!  
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**KKB (TwitterL twitterDOTcom/KnickKnackBlack)  
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